The Fighting 34

I’m about to turn 34 and nothing terrible has happened (knock on wood). 

I nearly forgot my birthday is in four days. 

I’m getting remarried to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally.  I’m skating again. I’m attempting to get in better shape and be a better person.

With the “trying to be a better person caveat,” sometimes I speak my mind. On some of those occasions, it comes back to bite me in the posterior.  Popular girl-turned-nerd-dater Cordelia Chase once said, “Tact is just not saying true stuff – I’ll pass.”

The other day, I got called “hateful and disgusting” by someone who I haven’t spoken to or been friends with in several years on a post that had nothing to do with that person. 

It resulted in me questioning EVERYTHING – am I really a bad person?  Did I deserve to be called those names? Was she right?

The answer is this: consider the source.  I’ve spent a great deal of time hacking out people who were fair-weather friends.  While yes, I speak without thinking and sometimes a mean word or phrase comes out of my mouth, what made it okay for me to be judged? Hasn’t everyone had cross thoughts or made a mean comment once in awhile? Hasn’t everyone made mistakes?

If people are badmouthing me (or anyone else for that matter), one would wonder why. If I am so hated, why bring me up at all? Apparently, I must still spark a reaction if I’m being called these names.  Personally, I don’t get it – I’ve felt fairly irrelevant as I get older.  I kind-of enjoy the peace and quiet that has taken over what used to be a chaotic mess of existence. 

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I do feel as though I know more at 34 than I did at this point a year ago.  Especially who my true friends are and will be in the future.  Image

 

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About DevonD29

This is a spot where I muse about life, roller derby, running, and whatever else strikes my fancy.
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