We Used to Wait

(this is dedicated to a couple friends going through their own struggles these days – hugs/have faith)

My Mom told me the other day she’s “amazed” with what I put up with in reference to my ex-whatevers basically being everywhere I go.

Heck, I got a press release about one last week (written by my replacement I presume).

Sometimes, I feel like I have to give a resume on myself in order to prove that I’m worthy of a second glance or (hell) a first date. I know, in my brain, I have plenty to offer.

But, when surrounded by canoodling couples, people holding hands, etc, it serves as a reminder – (BAM) I’m alone.

The double-edged sword here is that I’m ready. Ready to have someone in my life. But, the rest of the world doesn’t seem to share my optimistic view.

In the interest of honesty, I will admit to being sparked by a few men, as of late. However, it’s been made abundantly clear they don’t/won’t feel the same for insert reason here.

I can take it – this is nothing new. I might have an amazing girlfriend resume (I cook, bake, get along with people, am well-spoken, and spoil the boyfriends I’ve had – I like shopping for a guy – ask my ex-husband), but it apparently isn’t enough.

I’m not a piner – I can take the signs screaming disinterest.

Also, I made a choice awhile ago to not set myself up for unavailability/failure anymore. There are a handful of guarantees in this life – I’m just making better choices to avoid said pitfalls.

I know I’m not the only single woman in her 30s thinking these things (hello, there was a TV show about this topic that went 7-8 years and had two movies). We have our “shit” together (quoth my Mom), we work out, we’re social, but…

For now, at least for me, there’s nothing to be done. I can only hope my words give hope to someone out there.

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About DevonD29

This is a spot where I muse about life, roller derby, running, and whatever else strikes my fancy.
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