Full disclosure: I love “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.”
When you spend eight-plus hours a day writing about crime, politics, corruption, and so forth – it can wear on a person. “The Daily Show” is my escape.
Imagine my surprise and delight when Stewart poked fun at a recent incident involving a pool reporter for Vice President Joe Biden getting locked in a closet at a fundraiser.
The bit goes into a satire about the media having an “S&M” relationship with their sources.
Having briefly been in an S&M relationship a couple years ago (one, for the record, I left of my own choosing), I found this endlessly amusing.
It also spurred thoughts on control – in a relationship, there always seems to be a trade-off of who is controlling the course of action between two people.
With the S&M situation (it was a couple months post-divorce – I was in Samantha Jones “try-sexual” mode – I’ll try anything once), I realized I had more control over the situation than I thought – while being forced to refer to my “master” as “sir” at BDSM parties (newsflash, kiddos – they exist in this area), the man’s “secret life” was in great contrast to his “public life” (day job, whatever you want to call it).
He made no bones about disclosing all of this to me early on and the importance of keeping it “quiet” (note – I am not getting into specifics).
This “secret” life going public could’ve greatly damaged his future.
Which meant I had some control over my situation. Solely based on information. I got tired of being reminded almost constantly that his future was more important than my own, so I walked away. Took back control, in a manner of speaking.
Sounds very similar to the media if you think about it. Control, a back-and-forth, all based upon who knows what and when.
My point being, knowledge is power. Know yourself. Know what you’re willing to disclose to move a relationship forward, what you’re willing to put on the line, and what you’re willing to put up with in order to maintain your own happiness.
Also (and I know people are going to ask), I am choosing to disclose this particular chapter because, deep down, everyone has a little strange in them.
Finally, just because you may have some shortcomings in life does not mean you need to compensate by being a bully in the bedroom.