Too Tough to Die


 Firstly, saw the doctor Tuesday – I’ve lost 15 lbs! My skinny jeans fit again! Yay!!


Tough vs strong. What’s the difference, you ask? The answers on this seem to be rather blurry.
The backstory:
Three years ago this month, I took up roller derby. I’d never really skated before and, truth be told, I was God-awful. I’m not an athlete in the traditional sense – I took dance for 12 years. Thanks to some amazing trainers (specifically Touretta Lynn, Molly McFracture, and the awesome Beattie Sedgwick, who I am pleased to report has become a fantastic coach for the Race City Rebels Men’s team), I out-performed myself and made a couple rosters.
Then, life hit (divorce specifically). I walked away (skated away?) from derby, moving to an announcing role. In January of 2010, I was asked to leave the league I had announced for with no explanation other than they were “moving in a different direction” (note: this is how TV stations get rid of people). I took a lot of name-calling, glares, and outright hostility through this, eventually being lucky enough to announce for Lafayette’s league (starting my second season announcing with them early next month).

I got told I was “weak” because I walked away by some – others said I just wasn’t “tough enough” to handle it.

It wasn’t a question of tough – it was a question of strength.

At the time, mentally, I wasn’t strong enough. My mind was reeling – my marriage, which I had thought would last forever, was in shambles. I never expected my husband to leave. But, that’s what went down.

Time heals all wounds and I believe this to be true. Strength on my part has grown. The strength to stay in my current capacities with the Lafayette Brawlin’ Dolls (announcer) and the Naptown Roller Girls (DNN internet broadcaster). Both teams have embraced me and I thank God for that.

Tough isn’t clocking a girl in the face. Tough is still standing at the end of the game, even if you got your ass handed to you. Strength is looking your enemies in the face and knowing you’re better off without them in your life. Strength is standing before a crowd filled with people you know have called you names and still rocking it, on or off the track.

So maybe they are the same.

On a final note, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that a good friend of mine who has faced her own share of struggles recently began dating someone nice (and it says so on a certain social networking site).

She gives me hope for my own romantic future (non-existent though it might be now).



About DevonD29

This is a spot where I muse about life, running, music, or whatever else strikes my fancy.
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